A bouquet of Mother's Day stories

*Updated*

Celebrity mother:
Norah O'Donnell has the work/family balancing act all figured out. The important thing is "to be in the moment" whether at work or with her three babies. (Quality time!) With the help of a veritable village of grandparents, nanny, and au pair, she and celebrity chef husband soldier on. They plan to write a baby food cookbook for fellow elite parents who want to develop their children's palates early. Ms. O'Donnell notes that she tries to get home before the children have gone to sleep.

I don't mean to pick on Ms. O'Donnell; I'm using her as an example of the contemporary attitude which views the mother as just another "care-giver," easily replaced. Here's a bit of cliched advice for ambitious mothers of small children: Babies grow up very quickly; compromising on your career and staying home for three or four years might be a gift of incalculable worth to yourself as well as to your kids.

More of the same from . . .

The First Mother:
Growing up, Michelle O recounts, her father was the sole support of his small family. His income allowed her mother to stay home with the children.

"But because he earned enough as a shift worker without a college degree, he could still support a family of four on that salary. And because he could, with that salary, support us -- we rented a home, we didn't live lavishly -- my mother was able to stay at home. She could afford to make the choice not to go to work while we were growing up. That was how families balanced back then."

The family rented a home.

That part is very important. Many of today's families trade the stay-at-home-mother option for home ownership. Back when Michelle was growing up, having mother in the home was seen as a necessity and home ownership was seen as an option. Since then, these two have flipped. The quest for the holy grail of home ownership has grown to the point where some couples won't consider starting a family until they have moved up and out of the starter home and into the large dream house.

Back to Michelle O:

"One income really doesn't always cut it anymore. And that's in my lifetime," Obama said. "In most families, both parents have to work, and even if people want to make the choice to stay home. And again, there is no subjective analysis or -- of what is better. But people can't make the choice.

Sigh. Define "have to work." That's pretty subjective. Of course some mothers have to work. But many do indeed have a choice. Families with stay-at-home moms typically sacrifice to make it work, just as Michelle's parents did. And there are some studies out there about what's best for children.

Unfit mother:
Woman goes to jail for leaving her two year old alone during six-hour shopping marathon (with her own mother).

Bad mother:
Ayelet Waldman calls herself that and writes a book with that title. I don't blame her a bit for being honest about finding aspects of motherhood boring. No doubt it can be, and she wasn't the first to discover it. It's the reality behind the drudgery -- the miracle of the child and the love parents put into raising him -- that redeems the mundane routines of motherhood. But this statement might give one pause:

Q: How hard will it be to talk about your abortion on your book tour?

A: I don't know how I'll get through that. Of all the things I've revealed about myself, that's the absolute scariest, not because I'm ashamed of it, but I feel horrible about that decision. I'm completely convinced that I did the right thing, and I'm completely convinced that I killed my baby and there was nothing wrong with him. It's this duality, this horrible ambivalence.

But if there's one woman who's going through this alone and reads this essay and realizes it's not her private agony, or it is but she shares this with other people, then it's completely worth it.

Deep breath. Moving on.

*Anti-baby mothers:
To honor the woman who gave birth to you, donate to Planned Parenthood. (They have a funny way of honoring the birth of Christ, too.)

Pretend mothers:
Sad accounts of women seeking child-substitutes: dolls, chimps, and monkeys (video).

*Pink mothers:
CODEPINK MOTHER'S DAY FESTIVAL From Saturday at 1 p.m. to Sunday at 1 p.m. The peace activist group celebrates Mom with scavenger hunts, storytelling for kids, a performance by sing-songwriter Melissa Ivey and a late-night pajama party. There will also be workshops and demonstrations to further the group's cause. Lafayette Park. Free.

Negligent mothers (and fathers):
Watching grown-up TV 'makes children more likely to have underage sex'
(Related post here.)

Teen mother:
Bristol Palin, touting abstinence. I was happy to see that she brought Tripp with her to New York. On Today:

Campaigning against teen pregnancy on the TODAY show Wednesday, Bristol Palin, 18-year-old daughter of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, told Matt Lauer that a baby “is not just an accessory on your hip. This is hard work.” But she called her 4-month-old son Tripp “not a mistake at all. He’s a blessing.”

Conservative Alaska Governor mother:



Earth (worm) mother:
A worm bin? For me? You shouldn't have!

Radio talk-show mother:
Dr. Laura Schlessinger on her book, In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms.

Dearly loved and missed mother:
Affecting words from Ann Coulter

Mother of all mothers:
Barbara Curtis

And to help you do the right thing for your own mother: Grilled chicken and MOM tattoos

In its latest attempt to let the world know about its new Kentucky Grilled Chicken, KFC has launched a Mother’s Day promotion that asks customers to submit pictures of their “mom” tattoos in order to receive gift checks.

Sheesh. It doesn't even have to be a real tattoo. Worse, you can download a "KFC themed" fake tattoo that pays tribute to mom (and grilled chicken, I'm sure). I feel so dissed as a mother.

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