Flushing our freedoms

But it's for the Planet!

Mark Steyn on "Copenhagen" and what it means to you:

“We all too often mistake the nature of those negotiations in Copenhagen,” remarked professor Flannery. “We think of them as being concerned with some sort of environmental treaty. That is far from the case. The negotiations now ongoing toward the Copenhagen agreement are in effect diplomacy at the most profound global level. They deal with every aspect of our life and they will influence every aspect of our life, our economy, our society.”

Hold that thought: “They deal with every aspect of our life.” Did you know every aspect of your life was being negotiated at Copenhagen? But in a good way! So no need to worry. After all, we all care about the environment, don’t we? So we ought to do something about it, right? And, since “the environment” isn’t just in your town or county but spreads across the entire planet, we can only really do something at the planetary level. But what to do? According to paragraph 38 on page 18 of the latest negotiating text, the convention will set up a “government” to manage the “new funds” and the “related facilitative processes.”

Yes, a government.

Read on and learn some surprising facts about Big Brother's interest in the most intimate aspects of our lives. We're talking about the monitoring of our trash, our poop, and the ultimate privacy invasion, at least for me, our body fat:

In 2006, to comply with the “European Landfill Directive,” various municipal councils in England, Scotland and Northern Ireland introduced “smart” trash cans—“wheelie bins” with a penny-sized electronic chip embedded within that helpfully monitors and records your garbage as it’s tossed into the truck. Once upon a time, you had to be a double-0 agent with Her Majesty’s Secret Service to be able to install that level of high-tech spy gadgetry. But now any old low-level apparatchik from the municipal council can do it, all in the cause of a sustainable planet. So where’s the harm?

And once Big Brother’s in your trash can, why stop there? Our wheelie-bin sensors are detecting an awful lot of junk-food packaging in your garbage. Maybe you should be eating healthier. In Tokyo, Matsushita engineers have created a “smart toilet”: you sit down, and the seat sends a mild electric charge through your bottom that calculates your body/fat ratio, and then transmits the information to your doctors. Japan has a fast-aging population imposing unsustainable costs on its health system, so the state has an interest in tracking your looming health problems, and nipping them in the butt. In England, meanwhile, Twyford’s, whose founder invented the modern ceramic toilet in the 19th century, has developed an advanced model—the VIP (Versatile Interactive Pan)—that examines your urine and stools for medical problems and dietary content: if you’re not getting enough roughage, it automatically sends a signal to the nearest supermarket requesting a delivery of beans. All you have to do is sit there as your VIP toilet orders à la carte and prescribes your medication.

Who knew, when those unnamed geniuses invented that crowning glory of civilization, Indoor Plumbing, that we'd end up ruled by a master race of toilets?

It's really not funny. Mark's bottom line:

“The environment” is the most ingenious cover story for Big Government ever devised.

It certainly is. It even trumps "healthcare" (though just barely) in its all-inclusiveness.

It should go without saying that you must read the rest of Steyn's column.

And if you missed it last week and you still have the will to live, read Roger Kimball's National Sovereignty, Climate Mysticism, and You.

Related posts: Cultural dropouts, et cetera, Another menace to The Planet: soft toilet paper

Cross-posted in the Green Room.

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