Michael Thomsen wants to make mother's milk. I guess he's serious, because he documents his efforts, which he says spring from curiosity:
The more I learned about male lactation, the more curious I became. I'm 33 years old and single in New York City, a cross between Carrie Bradshaw and George Costanza—if there's such a thing as a male biological clock, mine has started ticking. I know I can't birth a child myself, but what if I could bear one to suck at my bosom? Could my rudimentary mammae yield a copious supply of milk?Thomsen tries to assemble evidence that breastfeeding males exist in nature, but in his case, Mother Nature wasn't having it. The weeks-long effort was a dry run. (Note from an experienced breastfeeding mom: If Thomsen really wanted to trick his "breasts" into producing milk, he should have used an electric pump. The image of this poor schlub cranking away night and day with a manual pump is sadder than I can say.)
So he didn't produce even a drop. But he hasn't given up:
Maybe one day I'll try again to climb over the gender wall, this time risking the mortification of a swollen breast and the ominous side effects of hormone-boosting pharmaceuticals. It would be nice to have a better reason than curiosity, I think. Perhaps a little baby—someone in need of sustenance and intimacy, searching for a breast to nuzzle. Yours or mine could do.What does that mean? Little babies don't just randomly fall from the sky; they emerge from women's bodies, and these women are called "mothers." Is he hoping there's one out there who will lend him her baby to
And as to fully experiencing breastfeeding, sorry, but "swollen breasts" and "ominous" hormonal side effects come with the territory, sometimes accompanied by sore, bleeding nipples, plugged ducts, and breast infections. Biology may no longer be destiny, but the physical world still exists. I take some comfort in that.
See PJM and JACG for posts on the family that's decided not to divulge the sex of their baby for now, even to the grandparents.
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Gross. But I did see something on TV a few years ago about a man who DID succeed in producing milk, and I don't think he used artificial hormones either. I'll see if I can find it online.
ReplyDeleteSome babies are born lactating, they call it a "witch's teat" or something.
With all these cross gender experiments, the natural order is violated and that produces mutants or freaks similar to the DNA damage caused by radioactive exposure. It is important that people discard these aberrations and focus on the natural order.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of which, there's a new movie from the makers of Fireproof. It's "Courage" and deals about fatherhood, specially the spiritual aspect of leadership in the faith among other traditional male roles. I'll post the trailer back at my site.
" It would be nice to have a better reason than curiosity, I think. Perhaps a little baby—someone in need of sustenance and intimacy, searching for a breast to nuzzle. Yours or mine could do."
ReplyDeleteIt certainly is fine for a man to have a desire to have children, but the general notion is to secure a wife as a kind of first step. When we allow ourselves to pander to our every whim and desire we end up with confused young men attempting to milk their man boobs.
Here's the tack I would suggest for Mike: forget the electric milker. Apply a little more discipline to the diet, maybe hit the gym three or four times a week and make yourself more appealing. Then be personable and gentlemanly of course, and perhaps some young lady will get it into her head that she would like to have a family with you. As strange as it sounds, they do come to that conclusion from time to time, to our general mutual amazement.