Sign of the times: Tapping into the self-absorbed, not-ready-for-adulthood parenting market with a malevolent little volume of "bedtime stories." Brent Bozell isn't a fan:
An ungenerous person would point out that some of these hostile bouquets of “radical honesty” sound like verbal abuse. Most parents have these selfish feelings inside their own heads. But if you heard a parent say to a small child “F---- your small bear, I’m not getting you s—,” you’d probably think they could use a parenting class or two.I've had seven wakeful babies, so I get the whole sleep-deprived parent thing. But there's something wrong with this. Maybe it's the us-against-them vibe, or the twisted sense of entitlement on the parent's part, humorously portrayed, you may argue, but all about the parent's "needs" and dismissive, even contemptuous, of the child's. Who's the grown-up here? Maybe it would strike me as funny in a shocking sort of way if it were impossible to imagine a parent taking this attitude with a child in the middle of the night (it isn't), or if it didn't emerge from a culture that devalues and disposes of the inconvenient, as in babies and old people.
The same goes for “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f— to sleep.” And: “For real, shut the f— up and sleep.” And: “I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bulls—. Stop lying. Lie the f— down, my darling, and sleep.”
Bozell questions whether he's taking the book too seriously, and maybe I am, too. But there are books out there that can inspire a parent to rise to the difficult task of giving unselfishly to his child, and this isn't one of them.
Linked at Creative Minority Report -- thank you.
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There's a family we knew from our old neighborhood. They have one son who's a year older than my daughter. They're "modern parents" who treat him like an adult, let him watch any movie or TV show, stay up as late as he wants, and of course don't hold back in the language department.
ReplyDeleteThey love telling the story of his First Words, the day he started talking. They were in Target, him riding in the cart, mom pushing it thru the toy aisle. He was pointing at some toy he wanted and mom said "no." And thence his first words as a child - "F*** that!"
They were so proud. And no, his vocabulary hasn't improved at all since then.
Jill, you're probably overreacting, but you are still right. The book is creepy. Those people I know, who think its funny enough to buy it, trend to creepy too.
ReplyDeleteI think books like this can have a sort of therapeutic effect on some types of parents, the ones who have children later after a decade or more of adulthood without children and without strong family support groups to help center them and to hear their frustrations in raising a child. This sort of book can help show them that their frustrations are common and not necessarily indicative of personal failure on their part--that they're somehow not "grown up" enough to not become upset when their child isn't going to sleep.
ReplyDeleteIt probably does coarsen the culture some, though, too, although I don't see it as a cause of the coarsening, but a reflection of it, and not necessarily one without some benefit.
We just tell the Little Tiger that we are present, just in the other room, and we are asleep, and surprise, the child goes back to sleep. I remember the sleepless nights early on, but it hardly lasts any time at all, certainly less than a year, and then it is gone, no more snuggle times with a child up in the quiet of the night. Why parents get to up tight I don't know. It is sad that such a book sells.
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